#louis: literally just minding his own business

[armandyke]

forgot to include this in my memes post

[dxxtruction]

can I say something controversial?

[daisyblog]

We Made It

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN and Harry's unexpected suprise.

For a week or so, Harry had noticed some changes with YN. She was crying at pretty much everything, like the other night tears were streaming down her face because they’d ran out of her favourite chocolate. 

In the last few days Harry had noticed that YN was saying she was tired a lot, almost sleeping the minute her head hit the pillow. She was complaining of having headaches and feeling nauseas. 

At first they thought it may have been a bug or something and her body needing a break. But something no one else would have noticed, but Harry knew YN’s body better than he knew his own, was that her breasts looked bigger. And that’s when the thoughts started swirling around in his head. 

At first he thought he may have been over reacting, but as the days passed and the symptoms had only gotten worse, he had a feeling he was right. 

Harry and YN had just finished packing for their weekend trip up North to watch Louis’ shows in Sheffield and Manchester. YN practically collapsed on the bed, complaining how tired she was, despite the fact that they hadn’t done much knowing how busy their weekend was about to be. 

Harry was in the en suite, and as he finished washing his hands at the sink he quickly looked to see if YN still had the tests in the cupboard. He was hesitant to say anything but it had been on his mind for a while, and he needed to know. 

“Hey babe!” Harry walked into their bedroom, with the test in his hand. “I think you need to take this.”

Harry held the test out towards her, but YN froze at the sight of a  pregnancy test. “What..why-why do-“.

“Babe, you’re feelings sick, you’re struggling to stay awake” Harry began to list the few symptoms, before adding another with a cheeky grin “And…those” he gestured towards her chest “are fucking massive”.

Even in this situation, YN couldn’t help but laugh at Harry’s cheeky comment, a loud giggle leaving her lips. “Do you really think I could be?”.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, “There’s only one way to find out”.

After peeing on the two sticks, YN sat them on the counter in front of them both. Taking YN into his arms, Harry left a soft loving peck to her temple. He had deja vu from when they had been in this situation before, waiting for the results of their future.

Breaking the silence, Harry’s timer on his phoned buzzed, letting them know that the three minutes was up. Not being able to wait any longer, they both reached for a stick each.

Both not believing what they were looking at, their eyes found each others. Eyes wide, mixed with excitement and nerves. “I’m pregnant”.

“We’re having a baby!” Harry pulled YN into his arms, holding her tight and covering her face with kisses, giggles leaving her lips as he did.

Almost like all the emotions had hit her at once, tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “I feel so overwhelmed.” YN admitted as she wiped the tear that slipped down her cheek.

“Hey, it’s okay…it’s normal to feel all these emotions.” Harry reached to wipe her cheek as another tear appeared. “I am so so happy…but I am absolutely fucking terrified”.

“You don’t need to be, you’re going to be the best Dad to this little one” YN complimented, his dimples appearing at her words. 

“And you’re going to be the best Mum.” Harry spoke, moving a loose piece of hair from her face. “Because you literally had the best.”

At his words, the tears poured. YN always knew how hard it would be if she were ever to become a Mum without her own by her side, but the reality of it had it her suddenly. She remembers Lottie feeling the same way and Phoebe, who too was currently pregnant. But now she see’s how Lottie’s light is back on and that’s all down to Lucky. 

For the rest of the night, Harry and YN laid together under the sheet, talking, crying and wondering who the little life was hiding away in her tummy. 

They had discussed wanting to keep it a secret until they had been for their scan and knew their little one was healthy and how far along YN was. But they had agreed on telling one person each about their news. It hadn’t taken them long to decide on who their person was going to be.

---

YN would have loved nothing more but to run to her Mum and share the news because again, her Mum would have been the best Nana. She had seen first hand how much she loved Freddie but sadly she accepted that would never be able to have that moment. She knew her Mum was by her side everyday, she could feel her and she knew she had sent her this little baby. 

So who else would YN turn to? Louis of course. Louis was not only YN’s brother, but her best friend too. They were one of a kind for siblings, growing up they bickered like any brother and sister would but as they got older they realised how important they were to each other. Louis protected her and YN worshiped the ground he walked on. Louis was the person YN looked to for advice, or to share an achievement with and the person who she wanted to go to when times were good and not so good. 

They had decided to share their news with Louis at his Sheffield show. They had travelled up the morning of the show and stopping at her grandparents house because that’s where they were staying that evening. YN found it hard not to let their little secret slip to her Nan, especially after she hugged her and the older woman said “There’s something different about you…you’re extra happy.”.

To be able to see Louis before everyone arrived, Harry and YN headed to the arena before the rest of her family as they were still waiting for Lottie, Lewis and Lucky to arrive. 

They had found Louis in his dressing room enjoying a few moments of silence, before the busy night ahead. The sound of the door opening caused Louis head to turn and his smile immediately showed.

“Oh here they are, c’mere” Louis stood from his place and motioned for YN to him. Wrapping his arms around her, swaying slightly, telling her how much he’d missed her. “Well someone’s chirpy today.”

“Fook off Lou” YN laughed as she sat down in the seat that Louis was just using. Louis and Harry sitting down on the sofa opposite.

“Excited for tonight?” Harry asked Louis, knowing exactly how he was feeling. But it was a nice feeling knowing Harry got to be apart of the crowd tonight and a fan, instead of the one entertaining. 

“I’m fookin’ buzzin’ man…just can’t wait to get out there.” Louis spoke quickly, the excitement surrounding him and evident in his tone.

“I have the best idea!” YN announced, emphasising the word best. Both boys turning their heads with unimpressed expressions, wondering what she was going to suggest. “You should both sing a One Direction so-“.

Louis interrupted her idea before she could finish. “And this is the reason why I kicked you out of the group chat you made for us”.

“Yeh that was fookin’ rude.” YN bit back, Harry shaking his head knowing that this could go back and forth all day. Instead picking up the gift bag that they had brought with them. “Babe, why don’t you give this to Louis?” He suggested, trying to change the topic. 

Taking the bag from Harry, she passed it to Louis with no further explanation. Louis looked between the pair, a frown written all over his face because he didn’t understand why they were giving him a gift. “Whot’s this for?”.

“Just open it!” YN smiled, encouraging her brother to open the box. She was excited for Louis’ reaction, but at the same time nervous because his opinion meant the most to her.

Louis reached in the bag and lifted out a plain white box, still looking at his sister and Harry with a frown. As he opened the box, he was met with a card and what he knew was a plain beige baby grow. Louis stared at the words, YN and Harry eager for his reaction. 

“No fookin’ way!” Louis eyes found YN. “You’re not!”. 

YN nodded softly, “I am”.

“I can’t believe it…fookin’ ‘ell Nan and Grandad need a bigger house for Christmas’ don’t they?” Louis joked at the realisation that their house was already full, and now two of his sisters were pregnant. 

“Are you happy?” YN asked, a spot of nervousness in her voice. Something Harry or Louis didn’t see often. 

“Happy…I’m fookin’ buzzin’ Tiny!” Louis was quick to wrap his arms around his sister once more. “You’re gonna be the best Mum and you deserve this more than anyone!”.

At his words, YN hugged Louis tighter as the tears ran down her cheeks. Those words meant the most coming from Louis because she knew it was from the heart. 

“And you c’mere man.” Louis gestures towards Harry, both pulling each other in for a brotherly hug. “Congratulations man…it’s the best feeling in the world and you’re gonna be the best Dad”.

“Thanks mate” Harry squeezed Louis and tapped his hand on his back, again appreciating the kind words.

---

It was no secret that Harry was a mama’s boy. Anne absolutely adored her children and vice versa. She always showed so much love, thought and kindness to everyone around her. Anne was the person that Harry turned to for everything, from happy times to sad times, she was his go to person. Since the passing of her Mum, she had taken YN under her arms like she was one of her own, giving her the motherly love she dearly missed. So obviously Harry wanted to tell his Mum the exciting news.

After watching Louis show last night, they had all hung out backstage eating pizza and very much enjoying some family time. But the next morning, Harry and YN travelled to Anne’s to spend the day with her, and to tell her the news, before they headed to Manchester to Louis’ show, Anne included. 

Anne greeted them both with a warm cuddle, as she opened the front door, welcoming them in. Like every time Harry came home, he went straight to the fridge to see what he could find. Anne made them all a cup of tea whilst they chatted. 

As they all sat in the cosy living room, the fire burning in the background. Anne looked at YN with a soft smile. “Are you alright my love, you look exhausted?” Noticing the dark circles that sat beneath her eyes.

YN glanced at Harry, knowing that this would probably the best time to tell her the news. Harry coughed into his hand, clearing his throat as a smile threatened to appear. “Uh, Mum, we’re…we have some news”.

Anne looked worried, especially because for once she couldn’t read Harry or YN’s expressions. “You’re scaring me”.

Harry and YN smiled at each other, knowing that once the words are spoken, Anne was going to be ecstatic. “Well… you know how Gemma’s pregnant?” Harry spoke the words casually, a smile threatening to show.

“Yes?” Anne’s eyes flicked between Harry and YN. “Wait…are you?”. At the realisation, her hands covered her mouth, hiding her shocked expression. YN and Harry laughing and smiling at her reaction, already knowing how much love Anne was going to give to their baby. “Are you…you’re pregnant?”.

With a smile on her lips, her cheeks hurting from the action, YN nodded. Anne got up from her seat and pulled YN into her arms, as tears ran down both their cheeks at the special moment. After hugging Harry and getting emotional again at the thought of her own baby with his own baby, Anne sat down in her seat as she rubbed underneath her eyes. 

“Oh I’m so happy, I can’t believe it” Anne repeated throughout the day, still in shock that she was not only going to be a Grandmother, but a Grandma to two little babies. Although she had agreed to keep the news to herself, she knew it was going to be difficult not to shout it from the roof tops.

Harry had always been protective over YN since they began dating, especially when it came to being out in public. But Anne doesn’t miss the way he’s right behind her on her every move, as they walk through the back entrance of the arena. The way he hold her hand a little tighter or how tense his shoulders get when someone hugs YN a light too tight. Anne can only put that down to the precious cargo YN is currently carrying. 

But what brought a tear to Anne’s eye was when she saw Harry’s hand discreetly on YN’s tummy, as he hugged her from behind whilst Louis sang “‘cause we made it”. 

They really had made it, and now it was their turn for a little happiness. It was a bittersweet time for Anne because she wished a special person was standing by her side to share this special moment with. 

Tag List: @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream

[funtheysaid]

IWTV 2x02 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)

- ooh the title card changed! I’ve been wanting to see the Eiffel Tower as a “fang” since season two was announced. WE IN PARIS BABY!

- ayooo three-way (interview) incoming

- Daniel’s “Paris sucks” aka “Paris is where my ex-bf is from and he sucks (dick), but not mine anymore, and no, I’m not bitter abt that, his city just fucking stinks (literally)”

- not two minutes in and Devil’s Minion is already flirting bickering

- ALICE MENTION alice!armand truthers are gon love that shit i just know

- “I’ll tell you what a woman is” That’s my sapphic-coded queen!!! 🕯️ pls S2 give me claudeleine 🕯️

- “Gauche” well, yes.

- Loumand: 🥰🥰 Daniel: 🙄 he‘s so second-hand embarrassed for them I can’t

- I mean, it’s crazy. What? We finish each other’s- I WAS WITH HIM FOR LONGER THAN LESTAT WAS WITH HIM WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN DANIEL PUT IT ON RECORD WEVE BEEN FUCKING FOR LIKE DOUBLE THE TIME …that’s what i…was….gonna say?

- Louis would be that faux-intellectual hipster who has his own darkroom full of overexposed and blurry, unfocused photos that are his “art” bc he took them on film (affectionate)

- Not claudia calling him out on it in the next scene “let me think I’m deeper than I am” okay honey you do you

- “She’s miserable but she doesn’t want to fuck with your too delusional left bank dilettante vibes” ahh the narrative foils are foiling, I see

- The show: Alice was pregnant, My dumb ass: OMEGAVERSE DEVILS MINION !?!?

- “joyfully joyless” MOOD.

- Claudia looking at Madeleine like “I don’t know if I want to be her or be with her” Dw babe it’s a rite of passage for all of us you’ll figure it out

- “Your French is ugly” 🥹👉👈 weally?

- “the dress for my body” LOOK I know what she meant, but I can’t help it that my mind is perverted

- LMFAO NOT GLORYHOLE PARK

- okay why Loumand playing with my heart “I will never harm you. And I never have” wtf wtf wtf

-Oh no the ole business card trick! we all know that’s Louis’ kryptonite he loves a man with credentials

- i like girls, but why is santiago kinda…

- Woah the Annika scene was really hard to watch which I think was the point but goddamn idk if I’ll be able to rewatch that part

- Estelle is my self-insert. I’m claiming her.

- “You both fucked Lestat!?!” HOW DID THEY KNOW WE WANTED HIM TO SAY THAT!?

- “He tasted of vermouth and annihilation” We both know you have no earthly idea what that man tastes like, Armand. Be so fucking fr right now.

- Did Armand just casually drop that he had a threesome with a father and son? I’m sorry, sir????

- “Now I know what two blood fat cocks slapping hands feel like” When I tell you my spirit left my body

- oh shit here we go. I’m a caged animal and it’s time for my weekly enrichment. give me my loustat.

- there’s a letter !?!? Wait wait I wasn’t ready for something like this wait stop stop please

- “all my love belongs to you. you are its keeper” just take me out back and shoot me at this point

- “it is a thin veil” fucking fuck why was that so romantic??

- the blood tears welling up in Lestat’s eyes I’m-

- “Rebound of my life” and in that moment, he spoke for the people

- WHAT IS HAPPENING???? Jesus Christ, they were talking about Alice and then it cuts to FUCKING ARMAND!?! This is not a drill. Everyone to your stations, this is not a drill.

- “You sold your Dad’s playboy magazines at recess” Hmmm? You’re telling me a “straight” teenage boy sold porno mags instead of keeping them for himself??? Yeah, I call gay on that one

- “she wanted to say yes” you motherfuckers.

- Oh shit Louis is pissy tonight rawr kitty got claws

- Devils minion girlies are thriving, skin glowing, hair silky, breath minty, pillow cold, stomach full, dreams sweet, and by Jove, we fucking deserve it !!!!

- daniel’s shaky “um- gulp” …….guys this is gonna sound crazy but i think there might actually be a god

- ooh the camera/photography being like a divide or barrier between Louis and his present situation. Like he wants to capture the moments, but only as if an onlooker and not a participant… interesting!

- “Who?” will never not be funny

- “Mon ami” in the same episode as “Mon Cher” FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW

- “Armand for you” nah nah nah i changed my mind, you can do like Leatherface and shove that chainsaw in rough and hard

- Close up on Louis’ conflicted face, fire blazing behind him…. That’s not foreboding in any way. I’m sure they’ll all live happily ever after from now on :D

What a ride! Until next week! 🧛‍♂️🩸

[fascinationstreetmp3]

putting this all under a readmore and not tagging i just wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere .. talking about marius and his fans & tw for mentioning csa / sa

personally. i understand that the marius/armand relationship has been a popular part of the book series for decades and it's fictional and yes i get it. but. i dont understand those fans who encounter people who find it purely horrifying or upsetting and then get mad at them for it. just because of how it's framed in the books as a beautiful gothic love story (filtered through both the author's intention & the skewed perspectives of the two characters involved in it) doesn't mean EVERYONE has to romanticise it and it's only babies or idiots or show only fans who "can't handle gothic fiction".

and then the people who try to convince everyone marius is armand's saviour who only ever treated him with love and kindness really confuse me. like, is it a wholesome relationship built on mutual love? or is it abusive and awful AND loving and caring at the same time? aren't the people who deny marius did anything wrong to armand really the ones who can't stomach enjoying gothic romances and have to twist it into something else?

it's a story of a fully grown man, a millenia old vampire, rescuing a teenager from sex slavery by purchasing him for himself, renaming him, showering him with affection, sexually abusing him, genuinely loving him, treating him like a child and an adult and student and son and lover all at the same time, making his entire world revolve around his master, punishing him emotionally and eventually physically whenever he gets too clingy or aggressive. and it's all done, not under just the 'guise' of love, but from a place of genuine love, and that's how both characters see it. it's entirely damaging and fucked up and the aftereffects of it on armand's mind and sense of self are present for centuries, compounded by everything else he went through. he still draws both comfort and pain from thinking about his past now and even tries to partially recreate the dynamic with someone else both in the book (with daniel, armand taking the role of the master; and keeping young 'mortal slaves' for a time) and in the show (with louis, armand taking the role of the slave)

it is a super fucked up relationship & i'm not one of those people who thinks you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy those in fiction. there's a lot of them that appeal to me obviously, and of course everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to that too. AND i know it's not all marius fans or even all marius/armand fans. i literally don't care what people like in fiction and i think we should all just mind our own business honestly

but it's the people who act like they're the only ones who get that it's just a tragic beautiful romance, that nobody else can read apparently, that 'marius haters' are just looking for things to be mad at that make me go ???????

[nightcolorz]

it's so crazy that people are out here making literal terf arguments over a fictional gay couple

also it was taking me out how that reply was literally citing examples of Louis' textual racial oppression as evidence of him being a subtextual woman like is that really what we're doing now?? Lestat owns the Azalea on paper because Louis can't own it as a black man during Jim Crow not because Lestat is equally invested in running the business as The Man like it's 1000% Louis' thing, and ignoring the strategic ways he operates his business black man just bc you're uncomfortable with the moral nature of that business is so blatantly insulting to Louis character and agency it's ridiculous. Like if Louis is a woman the majority of these people are being unironically sexist towards her because they like the boring self-insert wattpad version of her they created in their heads rather than the actual character.

sorry for the rant you can feel free to ignore it but that was driving me crazy

don’t apologize for the rant I’m so happy u sent me the rant bcus now I feel like I’m not crazy 😭😭. I didn’t actually read that one reply bcus the weird font changes gave me a migraine, but I skimmed enough to know what their thesis was 💀.

the terf shit is genuinely insane. I think a lot of this interpretation comes down to cis women with internalized sexism and transphobia (and racism cough cough) choosing to interpret Louis and lestats relationship in a way that aligns with their heteronormative narrow minded view of relationships (especially abusive ones) bcus they r unable to interpret a story about a gay black man being domestically abused by a flamboyant white man in a way that doesn’t revolve around the oppression of cis women bcus they believe that cis women are the central and only victims of oppression and domestic violence.

even tho it is explicitly shown to us that Lestat is able to abuse louis bcus louis is socially oppressed as a black man and lestat has societal power over him, ppl feel the need to put this “he’s also a metaphor for women” angle on it bcus they don’t want to confront the reality that men, especially men who are oppressed bcus of race or queerness or disability or any number of things, can be abused by their partners, and often are. I’ve noticed a lot of cis women have a problem with acknowledging that men can and do experience oppression that is “for women”. Domestic violence is often leveraged against women, but men are also victimized by it too, and stories about men who r abused deserve to be told without being “secretly about women”. This is especially weird since Louis is a black man, and I think a lot of this interpretation is happening bcus a lot of ppl subconsciously believe that black men can’t be victims of abuse or violence without being somehow women. Which is fucked up, obviously. It also undermines the actual story being told about a black man trying to navigate abuse and power structures by suggesting it’s actually about misogyny, bcus the implication is that misogyny is more important or legitimate then a black man’s experience and therefore he is just a mouth piece for a “real issue”

this is also why I think ppl argue lestat can’t be feminine bcus he abused Louis. They think that a feminine person can’t be an abuser, so they think that when I say lestat is feminine, im actually invaliding that he’s an abuser and suggesting he’s actually not abusive (bcus he’s fem). Believe it or not, u can be feminine and flamboyant or be a woman and at the same time be domestically violent against ur partner. Lestat’s feminine self expression and behavior is completely irrelevant to him being abusive, and he can be abusive and leverage his privilege over Louis while still being a feminine person. I think cis women have a problem with this bcus they are frightened to admit that they are capable of being instigators of violence despite being women/feminine . So friendly reminder, femininity is not the same as being morally good or pure, and femininity and victimhood are not the same. Trying to paint lestat as this embodiment of masculine and patriarchal ideals when he is very much a feminine queer man just bcus u insist that abuse has to fit into ur narrow minded view of what an abuser and a victim looks like is well, ignorant.

so Ppl who r socially oppressed are often victimized, and women are often victimized bcus they are socially oppressed, but Louis is socially oppressed and and that does not make him a women. Got it? 💀

It’s also important to acknowledge that Louis is a pimp who uses the victimization of women to gain social status and money for himself. Equating his suffering with the suffering of women is just not accurate when the show explicitly demonstrates to us that Louis is able to use the victimization of women to his advantage. Louis still operates within the patriarchy as a man, and him being abused by another man doesn’t make him less of a man, doesn’t make him akin to a woman thematically, and doesn’t mean he experiences misogyny the way women do in the narrative

(also, just a disclaimer, I’m not talking about ppl who headcanon Louis as trans or gnc or feminine, that is all awesome and a great way to express urself and how u relate to him. What I’m talking about is ppl who say that iwtv is thematically about domestic abuse against women bcus Louis is presented as the woman in the relationship since he’s abused by lestat )

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Musings - Claudia & Books

I need to say something wrt how books & Claudia are similarly treated by Louis, Lestat & Armand--weaponized by Louis and against Louis. I wanted to post this separately from the larger topic that was raised here considering to what degree Lestat & Armand should be either praised or censured for their attitudes towards Louis' book-reading.

My argument is that regardless of how Les let Lou read (even at the detriment of their relationship & intimacy when Lou was too depressed to pay attention to Les), his passive/micro-/macro-aggressive behavior towards Lou was still just as disrespectful of Lou's agency & autonomy as Armand's was by keeping the bookshelves out of reach.

What good is being allowed to read, if the very act of reading is constantly ridiculed & derided & judged & insulted? Les calls Lou a "pompous Sorbonne student" who lets scholars "fog his mind." With a husband like that, who needs enemies?

So I just wanted to point out that both books AND Claudia are a means to an end, for all parties involved.

Louis reads books to be respected in society as a man of means.

Black people hadn't even been allowed to read during slavery (x x), but 1-2 generations later, Louis is an extremely literate Black man. His mind is quick & sharp and he's treated as a credit to his race by white pigs who're stunned that Lou's smarter than & can outpace them, and offended when he dodges around their racist AF red tape.

A savvy businessman, Lou's desperate to get ahead in the world; his prime motivation is to be FREE--not have The Man's "boot on my neck;" or treated as a 2nd class citizen to be taken advantage of; or hated for who he is (and the things/people he loves).

The sad irony's that it's Lou's gifts that doom him in the end. Lou's too smart for his own good, and attracts the wrong kind of attention (just like Les was too talented for his own good & attracted Magnus). His avid book-reading further impacts him negatively when books start coming between his relationship with Lestat.

Miserable with being a serial-killing vampire, Louis stops drinking human blood. Weak & starved, he distracts himself from his hunger by reading books--his one comfort as he felt more & more depressed--

--and esp. as Les started cheating on him. Despite Les' promise to accept an unapologetic Louis, Les made Lou feel unaccepted, "a botched vampire;" "Am I not enough?" Where alcoholic Louis used to run to the bottle to escape his pain, now he escaped in his books.

Lou's literacy & libido/vampirism are CONSTANTLY brought into contrast--Louis' choice to stay home reading rather than go out & hunt or have sex--thus rejecting (the lifestyle) Lestat (gave him). We know what that triggers for Lestat (whose negligent & emotionally absent mother Gabrielle also retreated into her books when she was depressed). Louis' books are in the way. But we see Louis read the least in 1x4, once he has Claudia & Loustat's marriage improves.

Louis wanted a child to feel like his life was finally worth something to someone.

Claudia's function is best described by Daniel in S1 ("a band-aid for a sh!tty marriage"); and especially by Armand in S2:

Lou wanted someone to make him feel needed & worthy & valued & good--that he wasn't a failure, literal "dead-weight," an undead vampire whose life & purpose/meaning was over--an ambitious Black man whose business was shut/burned down by the white racists; a gay son/brother whose homophobic family hated him & didn't want him around; and a spouse whose husband refused to respect him by staying around (faithful & at home).

Claudia mistakenly assumed Louis wanted her to replace Grace as Lou's new sister, when really, it was never about Grace (or Claudia), but Louis' dwindling self-worth--esp. since her death/Turning happened the night of the race riots Louis blamed himself for. Claudia was his way of "doing right" by the last remnant of Storyville; But Claudia's just another exploited Black girl of Storyville; treated like a doll Loustat babied & infantalized; the "throw-pillow" making their house a home with light & warmth, a distraction from the emptiness/loneliness Loustat felt. Lestat turned Claudia to make Louis happy & keep Louis with him, and Louis wanted a child so he could have "a family of MY own." Thus: The Unholy Family.

Unfortunately, Claudia increasingly got "in-between" Louis and BOTH of his husbands--she was in the way.

Claudia & Books: In the Way, and Out of the Way

Lestat and Armand treat handle Louis' obsession/preoccupation with books & Claudia in very particular ways.

Les didn't stop Louis from reading his books & hoarding newspapers, or spiraling into depression over Claudia being gone. In a way, he felt powerless, too scared to spook Louis (into leaving/suicide) by doing or saying the wrong thing. Lestat steps back, and lets the dominoes inevitably fall how they may, so he can sit back and say "I told you so; father knows best;" "who was it that she takes after?," always with the last word. Lestat said the books Louis was reading had "fogged" his mind, and wouldn't be enough to help Lou's struggles as a vegan vamp. (Allegedly, he warned Lou before he turned Claudia that she'd be defective.) He stood back and let Louis suffer & learn on his own.

When Claudia ran away, Les stood back & didn't try to stop her (unless that's a S3 scene they'll gotcha! us with). Lou kept insisting that she'd come back, but Les kept insisting that she wouldn't.

Les was incredibly nasty towards Lou's bookreading, and towards Claudia (and her own book-reading). Les didn't want Lou reading books, he wanted Lou to pay attention to him ("light yourself on fire, see if he would notice!"); hunting & killing & orgies. He disrespects Lou's grief as a parent worried about their runaway daughter, more concerned with getting his "considerable considerables" wet than understanding Lou's need to track Claudia down. Even at the effing Trial Les makes it all about him not being allowed to have sex with a mentally ill person nowhere NEAR in the right headspace to be effing around, like wtF?

(At least S3 can't Gotcha! itself out of Les' callous behavior, cuz it was written in the script that both Armand had & that Sam gave the Talamasca.)

Les loved that Lou was smart & interesting & knew a bunch about the world cuz he read so many books--until those books became an inconvenient impediment to Les' relationship with Lou.

Les loved that Claudia was "a consummate killer, a congenial companion" to BOTH himself AND Louis--until her bond with Lou became an inconvenient impediment to Les' relationship with Lou, ("I can see where this is going!").

(Les' problem is that he doesn't appreciate what he had with Louis & Claudia until they're gone--he insults Lou's avid bookreading while they're together; only to become the most prolific vampire author in the entire TVC, consuming books when he has no one around to teach him about the New World anymore after Lou & Claudia are gone. He treats Claudia like trash, terrorizing her to no end, and then cries that he never treated her like a proper father should've when he had the chance; which further pushed Louis away when his daughter was disrespected, mistreated, and abused--a la Ep5.)

Armand, on the other hand, was NOT gonna be ignored cuz of Louis' books or feel threatened/replaced by Claudia. He'd have it ALL, or NOTHING.

In the script, Armand (rightly) said Lou had "extreme hoarding." The penthouse, however, is very carefully curated, so that it's impossible for Lou to hoard anything without a team of servants cleaning up after him. All the books are neatly stacked & perched far out of reach, so that Louis HAS to ask Armand's permission to read anything--a couple books on the bedside table and that's it--and Armand has the final say on what he reads, just like he did with Claudia's diaries.

Once dead (by Armand & the coven), Claudia is relegated to Lou's memory, and her diaries--another book Lou's not allowed to read (unless he asks nicely), or remember (unless he & Daniel work behind Armand's back). It's unclear what memories Louis allegedly asked Armand to erase, but Armand is busted having inserted false memories/convos/words in Lou's head, and he admits to removing some of Claudia's pages without Louis' awareness & consent; thoroughly abusing Lou's trust & disrespecting the personhood of Lou, Claudia, Lestat, & Daniel.

And this is before he's busted again, having been the one who organized Claudia's murder & instructed Santiago to pass Claudia's diaries around to the audience, violating the privacy of her body of work (a possible parallel for the Frankenstein violation he performs on her physical body in the book).

The ONE person Lou was truly closest to, whose memory was most precious to him ("I had a daughter!"), Louis could not properly remember ("I walked into the sun!")--hence why Lou got so emotional when he remembered that Claudia had dreams/nightmares, and that his memories of her were slowly coming back to him--that Claudia's diaries (i.e.: his most precious books) weren't the only comfort he had left, if he could carry her memory in him.

Just like the IWTV book/"memoir" he'd wanted to publish wasn't the real embodiment of his time with Lestat, but actually an Armand-shaped effigy he'd been manipulated into believing was the truth.

[thelastattempt]

Mate you’ve sent me this ask every day for over a week and I’ve had a shitty week and I’m gonna take it out on you (with a little cut cause I don’t want this rant clogging up my whole blog. cheers.)

A) the social construction of ‘coming out’ gives me the ick. the idea that anyone is obligated to tell strangers, their friends, their *mothers* ‘hey this is who I like to fuck, or this is who I’m attracted to’ just to what?? make others comfortable?? makes me feel a bit ill actually. by all means, the announcement can be really cathartic and validating for some people and if that’s you, then do you, but you can’t put that expectation on other people cause like - who I want to bang is my business and I have absolutely no idea why it would matter to you or any stranger. this goes double for celebrities who have cameras all up in their face all the time. why should they tell you? why why why. they’re not gonna bang you regardless so what’s the drama.

2) I bet you’re one of those people that say ‘it doesn’t matter, I just wanna know’. well you know what - fucking tough. if you wanna know so bad then it *does* matter to you. for what reason, irdk, but you need to figure that out cause it’s giving unhinged??

!) and on the subject of why you’re so incredibly interested in the orientation of other people, is it for validation? like if they’re a little bit gay then it’s okay for you to be a little bit gay? cause honey, it’s okay whether celebrities are or aren’t. but that’s very much about you and not about them. is it because you enjoy seeing gay iconography in popular media? cause there’s plenty of ‘out’ celebrities you can get this from, and the iconography is there whether you know the specifics or not?? you want him to raise a pride flag for your enjoyment - okay, he’s a real person though, capable of his own decisions that are also nothing to do with you?? or is it because you’ve got a little headcannon that you desperately want to be true?? again, this is very much a preference or need for you, as an individual, as a viewer, as a voyeur, and I’m struggling, bro, I really am cause orientation doesn’t make a good person, doesn’t add anything to personality or values or even talent. It absolutely doesn’t affect your enjoyment of the product Louis is selling - music, in case you’ve forgotten. unless you’ve got some dotted line from ‘gay’ to ‘deserving ’ and like, that’s not how this works?? by all means, support out gay artists for being out and gay if that’s your bag, go wild, but saying you can’t enjoy the content of a musician because you’re not sure who he’s shagging is warped to me

D) the jokes you see on the dash are literally just jokes. we’re sat here on tumblr, razzing a friend even tho he’s not our friend, because we’re all a little unwell and none of it is serious serious jfc.

5) and for you last question, what do I think? what do I think? I think I spend less time contemplating where Louis’ dick has been than you do.

TLDR; mind your business, you’ll be happier

[poetriarchy]

IWTV THOUGHTS!!!!

someone else said this felt like less strong of an ep compared to others this season and i see that as far as it being more set-up for upcoming plot rather than plot itself. but i think it's still a really interesting ep with some really strong moments.... digs into the characters in a way the other eps so far haven't had as much time for.

louis giving up on photography, then later letting go of the ghost lestat. and getting this outside opinion from the art dealer guy that he's got an eye for others' work but his own photos aren't strong. i think it's him giving up on trying to fill the hole in his life that was left by (the things he liked about) lestat. i.e. giving up on trying to be someone he's not. and then acknowledging that ghost lestat's commentary is actually just his own words (the "say apple" dialogue). jacob mentions in the post-ep that louis kind of falls into a lestat role in his relationship with armand because he knows he can manipulate him and get away with a lot, because armand is so insecure. so i think the moment of lestat's ghost losing its illusion and disappearing is in part louis absorbing that part of himself back into himself. acknowledging that he too can be powerful, he too desires control. that's not lestat, that's always existed in him.

WHICH sets up louis saying to armand "i don't know much about art, but i know a lot about running things". louis clearly retains his insecurity about not being able to be an artist like the artists he admires—and this continues to the present day as we see with the photos—but here he's willing to fall back into the role that feels good, the role that he knows he's good at. there's also that funny sort of parallel set up here between louis as pimp and louis as art dealer/theatre business guy/whatever. you can kind of picture him pulling the strings behind the scenes at the theatre, and doing it well. that's unlikely to actually happen now that the coven has claudia's old journals (and also just because they dislike him so much lol) but it's fun to think about.

there's also an interesting connection there with armand's personal history—being sexually exploited, and also being an artist's muse (i didn't catch some of that part bc no subtitles, so idk if i'm fully correct on that). louis' own personal history as a pimp works as a crazy foil to that, even if it's just on a subtextual level. the two of them are not on as level of ground as we might have thought, and armand as the eldest may not have the power over louis that one might assume from their present-day interactions. armand's "yes maitre" is CRAZY

anyways CLAUDIA. i'm kind of wishing we got more inside her head in this ep, especially because she doesn't have that much time left... it's interesting because you can see her spiraling and she says to madeleine how she feels broken, that there's something inherently wrong with her, but even then we still don't get a full window into her mind. it makes sense given the limited perspective of louis and armand as narrators, but still kind of sucks because she's the central female character of the whole show lol.

engaging with the show on its own terms, though, it's interesting how it's set up that claudia is denied subjectivity on multiple levels in this episode.

she's always been denied subjectivity by virtue of being perceived as a child. she's further denied subjectivity by being told to "live" the role of lulu by the coven she calls her family, being told to fully embody this naive, reckless, neglected child. this makes it so that later, when she behaves recklessly (being w/ madeleine), when she calls out louis for again prioritizing his romantic relationships over her, the audience is invited to ask—how much of this is her, and how much is just the role she's literally been forced to embody? she IS naive, and reckless, and neglected, but that is her real life, and her real emotions. by making her play a theatrical part that's a flat, cruel synecdoche of her life, you make her feel as though her real life and justified emotions are nothing but the tantrum of a stupid child. then you invite that (mis?)reading of her by the audience. then maybe, after enough time, she becomes that caricature of herself and is finally lost in the manner that armand suggested (...and orchestrated) in the previous episode.

and THEN, once she's gone, you have the additional layer of lost subjectivity. because she's no longer there to tell her story.

seriously fucked up

i guess the ep is all about ROLES. louis, claudia, armand, everyone. kind of obvious but still a useful shorthand for understanding how louis' and claudia's story arcs here overlap. even in the place where louis says he felt more free (as a vampire, as a Black man, as a gay man) than he did in the states, even in the old country that claudia longed for, they're still both coming up against that double consciousness.

looking forward to rewatching on my usual subtitled piracy site instead of having to cycle thru vpn servers for mega lmao

[marquisedegramont]

Who are your top five favorite characters in John Wick?

-🧸 (<- If this hasn’t been taken yet)

[ Ooohhh I think this list would be pretty clear based on who is reading this but yeah here are my top five! :D ]

𝟓. 𝐈𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐅 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐕

It was already a big start when I watched John Wick and really liked Alfie Allen’s performance as Iosef. Only just recently I started to like-like Iosef as a character more. I love his sort of biker aesthetic with the leather jacket and hoodies, which is a BIG difference from the other three big bads of the movie series since they’re all dressed in this formal-business sort of outfit which really goes to show Iosef’s difference in terms of character to literally everyone in the movie series.

𝟒. 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐊

The man, the myth, the legend! He’s obviously gonna be on this list because the movies aren’t completed without him and he’s genuinely such a well-written character it’s just that most people (atleast on other platforms) just know John for killing an entire criminal organization over a dog and while yes that’s true, I can literally just yap over and over about how Daisy just symbolizes John’s remaining innocence and his connection to Helen/the overworld.

𝟑. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐃𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑

Watching John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum and actually noticing everything after watching the fourth movie in the series was like a hit to the face. So Adjudicator— fucking awesome! I loved their entire wardrobe throughout the movies and how they all look so stylish yet refined. And I love the subtle story telling with their dangly earring which represents the fact they don’t necessarily have everything under control and so does the High Table.

𝟐. 𝐆𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐃’𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐎

People truly sleep on Gianna because, hey, she got like ten minutes worth of screentime and had relatively a short time alive for the audience to look at her and like her as a character. But to me, I love her. I love my bitches who show up once and then never again. She’s evil, she’s ruthless, she’s a cunt; Santino’s just mad he can’t do it like her. Aka, be as good as her when it comes to ruling the Camorra. I love her so much, because as much as we were so close to see a truly ruthless individual who is a woman rule something as large and brutal as the Camorra, and also be a canon seat holder in the world of the High Table— Gianna remains one of my favorite due to how beautiful she is and how intuitive she was, her death scene was just absolutely beautiful.

𝟏. 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐒 𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐁𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓

We all saw this coming. He’s practically my brand, in fact I am him. He is me and he is I, don’t mind the fact he died in 2015 and I got pushed into this world against my will in 2005. Look at him. He’s literally the perfect villain for a movie like John Wick Chapter 4. He’s a cunt, played by Bill Skarsgård, he has a fuckass French accent, he never shows up in scenes without his pocket watch, the shoes are Prada and the suits are Valentino. All his suits are drenched in glitter, and every scene feels like he owns the place. The Louvre? The Louis Vuitton Foundation? The Palace of Versailles? The Palais Garnier? The fucking Tour de Eiffel? He’s always surrounded by his bodyguards, he’s eating cake and living his best life. God, he’s literally me. I am him bro. He is literally me. He’s a ruthless and brutal little cunt ass bitch who finds pain fascinating but I do not have a single fiber in my body that gives a hecking shit. Anna Wintour would have loved him. If there was an Anna Wintour in the John Wick world, Vincent would be her fucking soul son. If you were to tell me the bitch named Keith from Barbarian would suddenly be throwing on a French accent and walk the way he does now, I would have exploded. Vincent is nothing but the pure embodiment of the campiness of John Wick Chapter 4. The suits, the character, the attitude, the sheer level of audacity. He is a mixture of the villains before him, he is the campiness of John Wick Chapter 4, he is Bill Skarsgård having fun, he is an insufferable bitch who deserves the way he died and even then, his death was both relieving and also beautiful. The Marquis, Vincent Bisset de Gramont is everything in a John Wick villain; the design, the European, the mythology references, the hatred for John, the cowardice, the deceitful nature, the ability to serve so much cunt yet be so cringefailure loserboy at the same time. Chad Stahelski made a great decision casting Bill Skarsgård as the Marquis de Gramont because I cannot think of another 6’4 white man who looks like a disturbed Victorian era child who has never seen a cellphone. He looks like he would get pissed off if you called him cunty and he would die if you gave him Sprite to drink. Making a guillotine joke around him would have you executed on site. He has a nice ass and beautiful, glorious hips and thighs that he is gatekeeping from the community using his glittery tailcoats. He is a thirty three years old twink with perfect thighs and even better fashion. His hair has so much hairspray I don’t think that shit was moving for the duration of the movie. The perfect villain to have ended John Wick alongside the legend himself. The motherfucker comes from Southern France and I hate and love him even more because of that. He is such an insufferable little shit that if I were there in the agreements scene I would have done everything in my power to make sure the duel starts now so I can leap across the table and rip him to shreds with my bare hands. I am kissing him with tongue afterwards. I hyperfixated on him and hated him at first but then I remembered that his fanbase was lacking at the time so now I’m him yeah sorry Chad Stahelski himself told me I am him so yeah move out of the way ladies. Or don’t. I’m married to like three women I don’t know because I’m him. His hell is being middle class in Paris because I said so.

[podracerbarrelroll]

One of the things that gets me about Interview with the Vampire is Anne Rice’s take on the downside of immortality. I’m especially thinking about this after reading Dracula Daily, currently reading Carmilla Weekly, and considering other vampire media. The vampire should both horrify and fascinate you, and so there should be enough of a tradeoff between a normal, human life and vampirism to make you question if you’d really want that immortality if it was offered to you.

I say if you could choose to be any type of vampire, you’d want to be a Twilight vampire. It’s literally impossible for a human to kill one. Sure, you maybe can’t go out in daylight all the time because your skin sparkles, but that doesn’t mean you can never see the sun again. You’re also fast enough to catch and kill any human unlucky enough to see you out in the middle of the woods or wherever you risked going out during the day. And as long as word doesn’t get out, the Volturi won’t come after you. Twilight also goes very easy on the obvious drawback of watching everyone you love get old and die. I don’t remember the backstory of every single Cullen, but Edward was dying, Alice literally has no memory of her previous life, and Rosalie was brutalized and left for dead by her fiance. They had no life to go back to. Bella might lose her parents eventually, but children ideally should be the ones to outlive their parents. She didn’t have any other close relatives or friends. In giving up her human life, she gets to marry someone she loves and a new family. They can also live just fine on animal blood, so you don’t have to deal with the moral implications of killing humans. And you get your own superpower! Twilight vampires don’t even have to sleep.

Compare this to earlier vampire stories. The vampires in Dracula and Carmilla lose their connection to God--which was a much bigger deal to the Irishmen writing these stories in the late 1800s than it is to a modern audience. Dracula vampires also lose their humanity and have the significant weakness of needing to return to their coffin to sleep during the day and being vulnerable while doing so. They also can be warded off by garlic and have their sanctuaries destroyed by Eucharist wafers. Dracula couldn’t even move his own coffins--he had to pay other people to do it for him, and that meant he had to leave very quickly when the poly band started destroying them. Carmilla/Mircalla/Millarca is restricted by only being able to use different spellings of her name. Her eating habits raise suspicion in any area she stays in for too long, with so many people dying of a strange “fever”, and she also has trouble going out in the daylight. 

Buffy vampires lose their souls, burn up dramatically in sunlight, and have a vampire slayer (or, by the end of the series, many vampire slayers) gunning for them. Most of the vampires in From Dusk Till Dawn are stuck in an eternal position of slavery or servitude and also burn up in the sunlight, essentially forced into a new society where they have very little power and any disobedience would be punished by death. Vampires in Supernatural can survive sunlight, even if it hurts, but they have hunters to contend with, many of which won’t hesitate to cut their heads off even if they stick to animal blood and mind their own business. Increased speed and strength and eternal life might be nice, but you either become an evil, blood-hunting animal or you get to spend that eternity living in fear.

The drawbacks of vampirism per Interview with the Vampire differ a little between the book and the 1994 movie, and a lot between both of those and the 2022 television series. In the book, and save one scene in the movie where Claudia gets out of her coffin during the day to join Louis in his, Anne Rice’s vampires literally cannot be awake during the day. As they age, sunlight does lose its power over them as Armand says in the series, but they cannot be awake to experience it. New vampires are burnt to ash by the sun, older vampires are only burned by it, and the oldest and most powerful can sleep in the sun all day and come out with a nice tan. The movie does a good job of showing this with Louis, holding his lantern close to the waters of the Mediterranean at night because he wants to see it as blue as he’s always heard about. But his light isn’t enough, and the water stays black. It’s a significant drawback of vampirism that the show loses: the sun may eventually lose its ability to hurt you, but you will never experience sunlight or what the world looks like in the daytime again.

One thing the Interview with the Vampire series does keep and did do well with in the first season is showing how vampires are incapable of change. Not only that their bodies are the same forever and that Claudia will never grow up, but that they have essentially lost the human ability to grow and change as people. In the book/movie, Louis was in his early twenties and had already lost his brother (book) or wife and buried his newborn child (movie). Alone in the world save for the slaves he owned at his plantation--who rightfully hated him. He wanted to die, and Lestat jumped him and gave him what he wanted, but he also preserved Louis like that forever. He is and always will be suicidally depressed--he is both dead and wanting to die, existing in limbo. In the series, Louis will always be exactly who he was when Louis turned him. Alienated from his family, but feeling an obligation to support them. Hating the life he leads and the way he earns his money while also viciously defending it. Paying someone to sit in a room and listen to him talk, whether that person is a prostitute or reporter. Louis is stuck as who he was in his weakest moment, when he gave into Lestat, which is why he will always give into Lestat, which is why, after more than a century, he is still whining!

It’s also why aging up the reporter is a great move, because over the course of fifty years, Daniel went from a young addict to a world-renowned reporter, from an idealistic idiot to a cynical asshole. This means he’s done the one thing Louis can’t (besides go out in sunlight): he’s grown and changed as a person. That’s why Louis is fascinated by him, and why he called him decades later to complete their interview. It also calls into question if you, the viewer, would want the “dark gift” Louis offers him. Twenty-year-old Daniel, like most people that age, had no idea how much life can change you, and had no idea what he might be losing to ask for Louis to turn him at that age. Seventy-year-old Daniel knows very well what he would have lost and what he still very well might lose by letting Louis turn him, even as Parkinson’s slowly starts to take its toll on his body. Would you want to live as who you are right now, forever? Do you like who you are enough that you would give up your ability to change, to know who you might become? Would you always want to be that person who, when the vampire bared his teeth and made his offer, gave into a moment of weakness and said yes?

[unreadablehandle]

ASHORE

It was Carl (“Officer Carl Hansen.”) who started a conversation with him at the bar. He gave him a business card, showed him his badge and said he was looking for someone called Harry. He asked Louis if he didn’t know him and showed him a photo of a really bad quality. From what was on it, it could be literally anyone with slightly longer dark hair. And still, the immediate thought of Curly flashed through Louis’ mind.

He tried to remain calm as he asked: “What did he do? Is he dangerous or anything?” He really did a good job of making it sound like he only was curious for his own safety.

“Um. I can’t tell you the details, obviously. But he’s took part in some drug cartel business. And about if he’s dangerous – he might be. We don’t know.”

Louis’ breath hitched. “Oh, ok. Any kind of distinctive signs?”

Carl sipped on his beer. “Well. Apparently, every lawful member of the cartel has a tattoo somewhere on their body. One of a mermaid woman that looks like this,” he planted a second picture on the table and Louis felt his blood turning cold as he recognized that weird illustration from Freddie’s book.

“Um. I’m sorry, but I don’t know anyone fitting to your profile. Thank you, though. I’ll definitely make sure to contact you if I spot anything unusual.” He said while standing up, finishing his beer and ordering another two large rums that he drunk in a quick succession.

Just as he started to feel a little bit tipsy, he paid for his expanses and left.

There was something he needed to sort out.

OR:

Louis Tomlinson is a fisherman from a small harbour town somewhere on the British Islands. For a long while now, he struggles to catch any fish to sell, which is quite inconvenient as he has a son that he needs to take care of. He's frankly desperate. But then, everything changes when he finds a living boy in his nets one day...

[good7luck]

VNC non-animated manga latest (56, 57+) chapters spoilers

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* my personal, negative long vent

about some fan reactions:

“Noe is terrible because he gets happy over Tarte Tatin when Domi is suicidal!”

(more under the cut)

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* Sorry in advance that I failed to make my words organized and short. And I might be overreacting to some small minority. Still, I really wanted to rant for once, before the upcoming new chapter 58(?). Thanks for understanding!

.

.

I’ve seen some comments like:

“Noe and Domi are supposedly old, close childhood friends! Noe learned Domi has been suicidal inside the whole time, while he had no idea! He even saw her jump in front of him, her suicide attempt! And yet, now Noe abandoned Domi and completely forgot about her! He gets excited over stupid Tarte Tatin, how dare he?! He should’ve been concerned about Domi and only her! Actually, he should’ve just opened the door and talked to her already! Noe is so selfish and insensitive and immature! Poor Domi, Noe is a terrible friend and really doesn’t deserve her!“

uh

Not gonna lie, I feel so disappointed and frustrated that some people seriously accuse Noe like that, ignoring or forgetting everything he did for Domi’s sake and the full contexts in the entire Amusement Park arc.

I get that they love Domi and worry about her mental health. I’d love to see Domi/Noe have a deep talk soon, too, really. In fact, I myself got super worried if MJ-sensei would not allow the two to interact at all, by making Domi have to leave asap due to an emergency call from Luca or Sade Family XD Now I’m VERY relieved (and surprised lol) apparently this teasing isn’t happening, and Domi/Noe will do get to face each other and talk, according to the new chapter preview. So hopefully those accusations on Noe would die a little...

However, actually...even if the two were not to meet soon in canon, I still think it’s really unfair for Noe to get all the hate like that.

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# Noe (probably) believes Domi jumped because of Misha’s forced order, NOT by her own (suicidal) will.

Even aside from all the stressful situation...Noe couldn’t properly process the shocking info about Domi’s inner guilt and pain, cuz Vani suddenly started to yell at him and provoke him. During the fierce fight (Noe vs Vani), due to Misha’s harsh demands, Noe couldn’t make complicated thoughts (as Misha intended), either. Misha himself outright threatened that Domi would jump right away “IF the 15 minutes passes” or “IF Misha gets hurt by someone” or “IF Noe makes a wrong move” etc. Besides, Vani was so strong, and Noe was definitely not winning.

We the audience watched Domi’s inner thought process, but the character Noe obviously can’t know it’s Domi’s own (suicidal) decision to jump early (much less “for Noe’s sake”). He was literally busy surviving from Vani’s attacks, not to mention he can’t read minds. If anything, it’s only natural for Noe to think Misha ordered her to jump at that moment, as Misha himself claimed. Honestly, I doubt if Noe realized Domi jumped “too early”. It’s rather amazing he even noticed she’s falling before she hit the bottom tbh.

I don’t mean he forgot about her secretly wanting to be dead in Louis’ stead. What I mean is - from Noe’s POV, whether Domi would jump or not was supposedly up to the controller Misha’s mind entirely, never the controlled victim Domi’s. Even the controller Misha himself couldn’t imagine his supposed puppet Domi would fall on her own without his order. Noe sure couldn’t guess, either.

.

# Noe himself already saw Domi being quite fine on her own.

When Noe covered Vani with his own body, Domi saved them with her own ice power. Noe noticed the huge and strong ice around them was from Domi. He soon went outside and checked her standing well much better than him, even after using her power a LOT. From Noe’s POV, he had no idea what happened to her (especially after she started to attack Jeanne). Even so, now it’s pretty clear Domi is safe and back to her own self and (physically) healthy enough. Noe understandably got more relieved about her in general, perhaps (and Domi wasn’t particularly harming herself then).

Noe would’ve talked to her more or even hugged her, but unfortunately Vani and Misha thing happened right away (that Domi noticed first in the manga).

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# Amelia already told Noe that Domi is fine and that Noe shouldn’t interfere Domi talking to Jeanne.

When Noe woke up, Amelia assured him that everyone - including Domi - is safe. Amelia also actively stopped him cuz Domi/Jeanne was having a private conversation two of them (which again implies Domi is okay enough). Noe sees Amelia everyday, and he absolutely trusts her. There’s no reason for Noe to not believe Amelia’s words, even if he can’t see Domi right now (and Amelia was telling the truth). That’s why Noe went to Vani on the roof first, and later he waited for Domi (and Vani started to make Tarte Tatin).

If Noe still just goes open the door and starts to talk to Domi after all this, it means Noe ignores Amelia’s words and Domi’s agency and Jeanne’s presence. Which would be, uh, immature and even selfish and insensitive. I get that it could’ve dramatically shown how desperate and worried (and even “romantic”) Noe was about Domi, and it might not have been too bad actually, but still...

It’s Domi’s decision to not endlessly wait for Noe to wake up. Domi decided or agreed to have a long talk with Jeanne first, leaving injured and sleeping Noe to Amelia. All of it might be even Amelia’s suggestion (whether she secretly wanted to take care of Noe herself alone or not XD). Noe is being polite and respecting Domi and Amelia by patiently waiting for Domi/Jeanne conversation to end on their own, without making any complaint, without pressuring them to end it "asap” in any form, without trying to overhear what they’re saying in private. It’s bad and misogynistic to disrespect a woman’s own decision or ignore her agency, but somehow it’s wrong and horrible that Noe listened to Amelia’s request and didn’t interrupt Domi/Jeanne secret talk? lol :/

If we really try to play ~~strict~~ here, assuming Noe is terrible to Domi for such reasons uwu...then, isn’t Domi terrible to Noe, too, maybe worse? lol “Her old childhood friend got badly injured and almost killed because of her, to save her! Unlike Noe, both Domi and Jeanne were pretty fine, barely injured! And yet, Domi didn’t bother to stay with unconscious Noe! She abandoned her fiance to someone else and just went to have a chat with Jeanne instead, without caring about time! Now she’s even making Noe endlessly wait for her! Is Jeanne that important and urgent to her, more than her beloved friend who was about to die for her?! I get that Domi loves Jeanne, but how dare she?! She should’ve at least stopped talking to Jeanne and come to check Noe at some point!” <<<= I tried to imitate the accusations on Noe, and I sure hope this sounds annoying and picky lol :/

Seriously...it’s not like Noe carelessly left suicidal Domi alone in a room just because she demanded so, right after trying to kill herself. Domi is with Jeanne, none of them is hurting anyone, they’re talking in peace. Noe himself saw powerful Jeanne saving Domi in the park, he can trust Jeanne and leave Domi to her. He knows Jeanne is kind when on the same side as well.

It’s also not like Noe/Vani casually left Domi behind and happily went on a date or lunch two of them outside for 3 hours, in a fancy restaurant far far away lol Noe/Vani/Amelia are literally right near the door of Domi/Jeanne room, so that Noe could see Domi right away as soon as she’s done with Jeanne. That’s why Vani told Noe to lower his voice!!

Honestly, Noe could’ve just lied on the comfortable bed in his room (and had fun with Vani) as a patient, asking Amelia to bring Domi to him later or such...but he didn’t. He rather decided to actively go wait and see his dear friend himself asap! Noe isn’t even sitting on some chair, plz!!

I’d like to make it clear, just in case - I do NOT have a problem with Domi/Jeanne conversation taking a lot of time (it happens XD), and I believe Domi never intended to make Noe wait for her like that.

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# The Tarte Tatin is Vani’s voluntary present for his sincere apology and their miraculous reconciliation, and it all means a lot to Noe.

Noe and Vani had one hell fight yesterday that totally could have killed the other and their entire relationship, which left both completely wrecked. Now Vani was expressing his apology and their reconciliation by making Noe’s top favorite food. It’s not mere “damn stupid” Tarte Tatin. Not only Domi but also Vani is important to Noe. Noe has been stressed out the whole night, so he would get super happy over some(happy)thing he never expected from Vani, maybe even more easily than usual.

When Noe just woke up, Domi/Jeanne were talking. Even after Noe/Vani had their talk on the roof and visited Orlok’s office (to get scolded XD) and came back...Domi/Jeanne were still talking for like 1 hour, if not more. Noe kept waiting for Domi, even if not knowing when she’ll be out exactly. Vani started to make Tarte Tatin for Noe, rather than doing nothing. None of both ever complained about how long Domi/Jeanne conversation is getting or if they should wait there like that - they were simply spending their waiting time in their way. In addition...Noe got distracted and smiled in excitement over Vani’s Tarte Tatin for like 10 minutes or so...plz asdfg

Is it THAT “sinful”? cuz Noe wasn’t screaming, crying, throwing up for Domi every single minute?? Is it what she wants from him, being unable to smile over his favorite food even for a while??? I really don’t think so :/

It’s “funny” that I’ve never seen any of those people (who blame Noe) blame Vani (ex. “Why did Vani make Tarte Tatin NOW, before Noe/Domi talk?!”). Sometimes, I did see “Vani should apologize to Domi”, but somehow it’s never brought up in THIS context lol (ex. “Vani should get ready to apologize to Domi, NOT cooking for Noe!”)

It’s also “funny” that I’ve never seen any “criticism” that Noe followed Dante and later tried to go find JJ/Chloe: in both cases, Noe was physically getting away from Domi he was originally waiting for. If we try to play ~~strict~~ again uwu...isn’t it much more terrible than when Noe ~dared to~ get excited over Tarte Tatin? This happened at least physically near Domi’s location lol

Similarly, somehow Dante didn’t get any hate for taking Noe (and his attention) away from Domi, either, much less JJ/Chloe lol (ex. “Why must Noe get distracted by stupid JJ/Chloe and even smile at them and talk about his clan, when Domi is suicidal! Are they more important than his old childhood friend who wants herself dead?! No more JJ/Chloe, no more insensitive Noe being happy over them! Dante also should’ve known Noe/Domi need to talk asap!”) If anything, people rather wanted JJ/Chloe and Dante to stay longer and appear more lol

For some reason, Noe gets blamed (as always? lol), as if Noe himself asked Vani to make Tarte Tatin for him :/ Actually, to be very honest...even if Noe did demand Vani to make Tarte Tatin for him and become so joyful over it (for 10 minutes lol)...I think I still wouldn’t call him problematic, considering what happened between them? Noe has his own life and relationships, out of Domi (and he rather should?). It’s not like Domi is crying or bleeding right next to him now...Noe isn’t enjoying a party in such a serious / urgent situation, plz. I’m pretty sure Noe’s first words to Domi will NOT be about Vani’s Tarte Tatin, either, plz!! asdfg XD

I feel so salty, yep lol No, I do NOT think people should actually start to complain like my made-up complaints above!! Plz no asdfg I’d love to see more of Dante and JJ/Chloe and more in a peaceful situation myself!!

I simply don’t understand why those people basically insist Noe should be 24/7 depressed and hyper-focusing on Domi and only her, treating him like a heartless psychopath otherwise. To me, it sounds so unhealthy (and even unrealistic, oops), similar to “poor Louis meant nothing to Domi/Noe cuz they dare to have some sincerely happy days without mourning his death”? I highly doubt if a decent professional therapist could live like that.

Plz, it’s not like Noe made fun of Domi or joked about her trauma. It’s just that Noe couldn’t imagine Vani would do THAT much for him and their relationship, so he got extra excited over Vani’s (rare) explicit kindness and effort (in the visible form of his favorite food), after all the intense sufferings half a day ago. Does Noe have no right / freedom to feel any kind of happiness about anything or anyone in any moment now, until Domi explicitly approves it or she feels no longer suicidal? :((

(my apparently unpopular opinion on this crying Noe: I don’t think he’s crying because he got upset by Vani’s words. I believe he’s crying because he’s so happy to be miraculously allowed to stay by Vani’s side again like before, and uh...he probably didn’t seriously think he would have to kill him for real, oops ^^; Anyway, that’s why I brought this pic: Noe is happy to be with Vani here)

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# What Noe did for Domi’s sake in the Amusement Park arc

(I know one could argue if Noe did things “genuinely” for Domi’s sake, similar to when Louis!Domi criticized Domi’s suicidal choice in her mind...but let me skip that, oops XD)

(I must say, I do NOT necessarily mean Noe’s decisions / actions are genuinely good or positive. I just tried to collect Domi/Noe scenes where Noe cares about Domi, though I might’ve missed some ^^;)

[*] When Noe first saw Domi’s hair and Misha’s “invitation” letter, he didn’t hesitate and went to the park right away - without saying anything to Amelia, not even to Vani.

Amelia decided to go see Vani and tell him what happened on her own, NOT because Noe asked her to do so. Noe was fully occupied with Domi and so reckless that much.

[*] Noe got a lot of hate at the end of the arc, for ~daring to~ hurt the “kid” Misha’s face when trying to protect Vani from getting harmed / murdered by Misha, who was rushing with obviously dangerous weapons.

But actually, Noe was similarly in a vampire mode and about to aggressively attack the “kid” when he first met him, too, even when Misha didn’t make an explicitly suspicous move yet - because the “kid” was the culprit who dared to kidnap Domi.

(I wonder if the fandom hated Noe for being “violent” to the “kid” at that time, too lol I wasn’t in the fandom at that time)

Noe literally didn’t care if the kidnapper was a “kid”, cuz Domi was much more important to him. He didn’t even try to “talk things out”, unlike usual.

[*] Noe has some traumatic experiences in regards to blood-drinking, and he (usually) wouldn’t drink someone else’ blood without their consent or without his own want.

However, Misha threatened to kill Domi if Noe didn’t do as he wished, ordering Noe to drink his blood. Noe obviously never wanted any of it, but he had no choice but to break his own moral beliefs and rules, so he drank Misha’s blood against his own will - to save Domi. (and yet, some people call the victim Noe “rapist” and blame him, maybe because Noe is physically older, bigger, and stronger asdfg while completely excusing Misha’s problematic behaviors ://)

[*] Similarly, Misha demanded to go drink Vani’s blood in 15 minutes. Noe obviously remembered Vani’s rejection and warning, so he tried and literally begged Vani to tell Misha what happened on That Day, physically lowering himself. Noe knew Vani would hate all of it, but he wanted to save Domi THAT much.

[*] Noe ended up attacking Vani to drink his blood by force for real - going against his own moral beliefs and rules again, for Domi’s sake.

[*] Noe was super busy fighting against Vani, but he still noticed Domi was falling, and he ran to her right away. He totally forgot about the bloody fight, even after Jeanne safely saved Domi, to the point he got attacked by Vani from behind in the end.

[*] When Noe realized Domi used her ice power to protect him and Vani, he left Vani behind and went out of the ice to see Domi himself right away.

[*] Noe is waiting for Domi right near Domi/Jeanne room, not in his daily room, even if he’s not fully recovered yet and doesn’t know when Domi/Jeanne long talk would end.

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HOWEVER uwu Noe is anyway a terrible jerk who doesn’t really care about Domi at all uwu because he still dared to happily focus on mere Tarte Tatin for 10 minutes while waiting for Domi uwu which is an utter evil sin that completely invalidates everything he has done for her so far uwu Noe should’ve kept screaming, crying, throwing up over Domi and only her every second until they get to talk uwu

I can’t believe Noe is apparently sooooo “flawless” to them that they have to make a fuss over such a petty reason, idk lol :/

“You love Noe and so can’t see his flaws and can’t take any criticism on him!” LOL In this arc, strictly speaking - Noe was very reckless and arrogant (and so immature, mind you lol) to think he could handle the unknown kidnapper and save Domi safely by himself alone, even without telling anyone else about anything, especially when he couldn’t even use one arm and there could’ve been, uh, many kidnappers, even powerful evil vampires, for example... Noe was understandably very upset and desperate, but still.

Believe it or not, I’ve enjoyed Domi and Domi/Noe by some level. It’s honestly not so hard for me to empathize with both Domi and Noe in the Amusement Park arc. So...can those people please NOT ruin Domi/Noe for me?! asdfg XD

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Thanks for reading my long long vent subjective experiences & bitter opinions! I’m sorry I couldn’t write this nicer in general OTL

[slaygentford]

Would love to know your thoughts on parallels between LDPDL and the second Mrs. De Winter ... I feel like Nicki could possibly give the vibe of haunting the narrative like Rebecca does... idk

wait okay I just had to go digging for this because I KNEW that I didn't come up with the Rebecca thing individually I KNEW someone had incepted it into my brain and I was RIGHT it was YOU

it was you... it's literally haunting LESTAT'S narrative Louis meanwhile has no IDEA he's nicki's unhappy doppelgänger he is just out here minding his suicidal business because hes already got a haunt in HIS narrative (claudia), while MEANWHILE-meanwhile lestat: (in a hell of his own making on the train) so come make him happy :]. you will always! end up! here. mr de winter finally fessing up to killing the first mrs de winter. HURL. yep! YEP!!!

YEP!!!!

then double reverse card uno that Rebecca (spoilers for Rebecca) tricked him into killing her as a means to suicide. HELLO?!?!?!???? HELLO???? sorry I am just literally repeating plot points of Rebecca and tvl rn but they are almost verbatim the same plot points and that is insane. wishing it was 2012 so I could use some dr who and sherlock gifs rn thats the only thing that matches the caliber of what I'm experiencing.

anyway re ldpdl he really is young beautiful and naive and way less than half lestats age but more than all of that you know how Rebecca is about how sometimes your husband shot and killed his last wife over a supposed affair which you only find out about AFTER you've signed your life away to him? yeah.

[covenofthearticulate]

fic asks!!

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

💥 find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

💎 why is writing important to you?

Questions for Fic Writers

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? God, I have no idea WHAT my style is, but I definitely know it's changed over the years! I think in the past, I used to think of the entire point of fic as just telling a story, with a beginning, middle, and end. These days, I approach fic as more of an exploration, or a character study. I let myself meander on tangents if I want to, and I spend a lot more time trying to let the emotions breathe so that the plot feels organic rather than just getting from point A to point B, if that makes sense. I spend more time on setting the mood and the tone, which I guess as a result has made my style more lyrical and less literal.

💥 find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

Weirdly, I have 3 fics tied for last, with 34 kudos on each LMAO but I think I'll say something nice about Permission because I've been kinda ragging on it in my other answers asdgsekfghjvbsdf

Even though it was an absolute pain in the ass to write, there are moments of Permission that I think hit really hard! I think my favorite passage in the whole fic is:

I am not like you, Louis whispers in that silent voice between only them. It gives me no pleasure. “Not like me?” Armand frowns, kneading at Louis’ hair as he rolls the words over in his mind. “My love, you are more like me than you will ever admit to yourself.” He lets the words land like a branding iron. Like a kiss. 

I didn't realize it when I was writing it, but I think this was kind of my thesis with this fic LMAO like I think it's really easy for Louis to dismiss his own desires when everyone is fawning over him all the time so I really wanted Armand to check him on that and remind him that he's just as needy and starved and depraved as the rest of them

💎 why is writing important to you?

Fuck if I know LOL! In a lot of ways I still feel like a little girl sitting in my bedroom and making up stories, but as I grow older and am wrestling with different griefs and different Life Things, it's nice to have a place that's familiar. If you asked me 10 years ago, I would've told you that writing was an escape, but right now, writing for me is an exercise in empathy, and it's so incredibly cathartic to be able to feel emotions outside of my own. Like, I get burnt out from Real Life Shit every day, so being able to sit down and like Cry over Louis is actually really important because then when I get up and go about my business, the world just feels a little less daunting and a little less lonely <3

[scalamore]

Enemies to Lovers thoughts

Lately, I've been seeing people complain about how YM is one of those generic "enemy to lover" tropes in the sense that they can't get into it because "FL falls in love with the guy who murdered her". They think it's off-putting that out of ALL the guys in the world, she has to end up with that very same guy who caused her all that hurt and trauma. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion and all, but it got me thinking: Lari's hatred of TL1 Rupert is all in her head.

As we recall, TL1 Lari was so sheltered and ignorant, she had absolutely no idea. She thought Emperor Rupert had just randomly, in a fit of baseless rage, decided to kill her family and to set it as an example to other nobles. She was so ignorant, she resorted to using him as a scapegoat for everything that went wrong - murdering of the nobles, Louis dragging her family away etc, he had a terrible personality, he's out for blood, the reason for her rigged trial etc. He was the ENEMY.

But the thing is, is TL1 Rupert never caused her direct harm. Aside from pleasantries at the debutante, they never spoke again. She just saw him here and there from afar. But of course, Lari needed someone to blame to keep her sanity.

Within a few months of working under him at the palace, Lari already noticed some discrepancies: Rupert was a well-behaved kid. Even as he grew up, he was still well-behaved and minded his own business. He had some cruel tendencies, but that was justified in self defense mostly. Lari HATED how TL2 Rupert was so normal compared to the beast she painted in her mind. It took her a few years to accept that Rupert was different, especially learning about his past (Ch 60ish), but in the end she can't help but admit that TL1 and TL2 Rupert are different. She's also aware, that he usually only strikes back when he has to, and when it's justified to. He's reasonable, Around Ch 54 and 107ish, the mention of "Treason" is brought up, and Lari fully knows what that means: the highest punishment by execution of both close and extended family members. She thinks in that case, if the Arnbach and Ventibolt Houses do commit treason, then Rupert has the right to punish them fully per the law. She's aware of it. So when she's betrayed by House Belois and learns the truth: That in TL1, House Belois was rightfully executed by death for treason for 1) hiding a Royal and 2) treason against the throne. Of course, Rupert would enact punishment by the execution of the extended family members AND her, an immediate family member, even if she had no idea what was going on. That's literally the law: Execution of an entire familial line. OF COURSE he would do that to them - it's the law. He HAD to do it to set an example to others. The key is that they barely spoke more than a few sentences to each other the entire time. Unlike other stories where the FL and ML were married or knew each other for years, those FL felt BETRAYAL. Rupelali had no such relationship. Another way to put it is: A) An innocent noble girl found out that her father and brother committed treason, thus, the entire family is sentenced to execution, lands and wealth seized by the crown. She's only met the Emperor once. Of course she would hate the Emperor, but, some of that resentment should be at the family who dared to commit treason in the first place. Thus, I see no issue with it. :>